Debtors of Love

Thousands of girls, years spanning over three decades tell nostalgic stories, of a love too strong to explain, and too intense it forms a mystery curve. Whilst some are old enough to be mothers or grandmothers to the current girls in school, they hum a song all too familiar to them, ‘they were all in love’. In love with a man, who loved so much and in such great depth, that it made sense for all the girls to want to live their dream. I would never have known this love mystery if I never got the chance to be admitted to a school that he founded in the 70s, and never would many other hundreds of girls.

A group of alumni girls meet, and after the all too familiar giggles, the innuendo of their conversation takes the form of ‘Bro’. A man we loved and still do, even in his death. To the girl whose performance was rewarded with a full scholarship, and credits a part of her life to that love…..To the girl who performed so well in school but her single mom would not manage to pay for her high school education, but she went through school. To the girl sat by the school gate headed home to fetch a balance of her school fees, and as her eyes dart sideways with that tell-tale uncertainty that she will come back to class, and the mighty bro, drives into the school compound JUST IN TIME to tell her “pack your bags and go back to class”. And as she walks, she feels like the redeemer said ‘your burden is no more’.

The JUST IN TIME love, that John Koczka of the sacred heart brothers had redeemed many. Not because of the unfortunate cases of girls from less income households, but because he had this great ability to love all, to love all of us in equal measure…something apart from God, maybe parents can claim to. And whilst there are some parents who love differently, this man loved the same. His way of love set him apart.

Materi Girls Centre…His wife and life as he loved to say…who can forget the many times he would refer to us as his GIRLFRIENDs….who can forget his dedication, love personified. To the envious schools around us, we could be called a holiday camp. Why, there were no rules, except the golden and cardinal one to use ‘common sense’. And it didn’t make sense to no one at the time, why girls at the peak of their teenage trouble and drama would not have had to sign a booklet with elaborate rules. It made sense to bro…because Love trusts…and grows. And when we all his girls look back, we acquire a lovely virtue of using common sense at all times.

Even as we lost him to a battle of long illness last week, and still in denial, we look back and are glad Brother John chose the greatest thing of all…To Love….A choice, a decision, an investment of his entire life, a commitment that he wasn’t sure how the returns would fold out to be like….Remember whilst it’s ok to chase greater gifts…and yet I show you a more excellent way…that of love. And it paid back, a top performing girl school in a most semi-arid region opened,…infrastructure and opportunities,…wings to fly to thousands of girls at that little nursery school, at the Materi Boarding primary school, at the High school and the institute. It’s a sad day, when we heard you are gone….A while back you said your heart condition was as a result of Love…Love for these girls. The love for Materi made you stay even when common sense would have said you fly back home for Medicare…you kept coming back to the school, which was your home. Your love for us made you sick but it has not killed you….you will never be gone forever for you are with us. You gave each of us a piece of your heart, and we remain debtors of your love.

Of all my school experiences, high school was the best. Not just because it was a discovery phase but because you, Bro, made it the best. You were the conduit of love…from God, from yourself and even my own father who would regularly drop a little brown envelope to your office with some pocket money. You were a great daddy to all of us…a VERY BIG DAD, with a VERY BIG HEART and we so love you like to the moon and back.

See Bro, we loved to shout out your name….Friday around lunch hour, when even teachers in the classes would excuse our excitement at the sight of your car cruising the main highway. We loved your gifts, the ball gums for each class, the ‘sweat shirts’ we could get from you at 50bob, the nail polish, polish removed, face powder, the jewellery and how you could put a note on your notice board reminding us to look good when boys were visiting the school. The convenient letter pads and stamps from your office and being our mail man…including delivering hand written love notes from Nkubu boys where you resided (I didn’t get any though). We loved all this but beyond this we loved your heart that had endless depth of love…we loved you because we wanted to, just like you.

And I loved your notice board. It riddled me how you would go to the depths of reading newspapers with your lover in mind…and carefully cut out any interesting pieces thereafter pinning them on your board and all we, your lover needed to do, is rove our eyes on your notice board and consume the beautiful pieces. I would have wanted to get into your mind at those times when we would troop after you waiting to see what’s in store that day, but that is beside the point of love.

And you know how I loved the movie nights…the world didn’t know how consistent a lover you were, to sit through the evening after dinner, watch us dance as you play the music(you really rocked Mr. DJ) and also listen to the ahhhs, omg, and even tears that would follow your careful selection of movies. I remember opting out of the Friday movie dates because my grades were beginning to play me games. Looking back, I wish I stayed through each of them. I believe I still would have turned out as fine as I have in life.

When I think of Mundi’s drama, actually the only other person who made the Materi heat and dust bearable, I sort of think he was trying to distract the attention we had on you. Well, we all turned our eyes to him for a different reason, to be spared the wrath and not to be denied our meals. I do remember a drama Friday evening that he had shut the dining hall and ordered the cooks not to serve us dinner and you soothed him. Whatever you said to him rescued us. I sort of have this feeling that you told him…”Mr. Mundi, the more you cause this dinner stalemate with my girls, the more our usual movie date will delay.  Now sir, won’t you let this matter out of the way?” Whatever you said was brief but didn’t look threatening. We had our meals but common sense told us we could not afford to taunt Mundi.

Oh, the patience of driving on that dusty road every day! Not patience, but love. Man, there are those who loved school closing days. For they would have almost free transport to their parent’s doorstep. The Nyahururu girls whom you would drive all the way….and there are particular ones you would also drop at Kutus and others at Eden’s corner (see I remember the names or at least mix them up). It’s because I envied them. So I loved the school opening days instead…(Memeu and Alice K….I remember we used to get free ride to school…we would either wait at the gate). And then we would be so many, this was before Michuki rules probably. You would ask us ‘big’ girls to get into the car first, and then hold the little ’primary school girls on our laps…and then bang…the bags would come in flying—one by one. I think you relished our screams when the bags would land on us…good thing is no girl would be left…And for the four years, this is how I managed to be among the first girls to report to school.

You always said you wanted to raise successful girls and mothers…a strong pillar of society. It was such joy when you addressed us at tin tin restaurant….and the last thing I thought is you would leave us barely 3 years later. You always looked strong,..invincible..almost could defy eternity..You taught us love and we will always hope to love,….selflessly as you did. We can write millions of words to thank you and tell endless stories of your impact in our lives….we will let the seed of love grow,….to a big round tree where the hands of many other people can be spread around it. Rest in peace Papa, we will meet yonder,…at the appointed time.

Thank you for choosing the most excellent way….I cor 12:31

 

Brenda

You saw her and your heart was moved
By love, by compassion, by the great need that lay ahead, and by the challenge in store
She was poor, dirty, unfed, uncared for
She was uneducated with no none to take care of her children when they were ill.

The task was insurmountable
Others looked and quickly walked away like the Pharisee who saw the wounded samaritan man
But you, you said Father I will do it
I will lover her, wash her wounds, pay her bills
I will care for her children and here they will find a place they can call home

And so you built Materi
Brick by brick, tile after tile, tree after tree
In scorching sun in dreaded dust and annoying mosquitoes
You traversed boundaries to make sure Materi was fed and fees paid
You sat with the girls through late nights just to entertain them
Making the treacherous journey to and from Nkubu come rain come high winds
Children found a home in Materi, poor children found a savior in you
Mothers knew you were the miracle they had prayed for
And the community knew that a light had shone in their midst

You let your light shine, you let people see your good works, and they glorified the father in heaven
For sending you, but mostly for your heart of gold, heart of obedience
You would have laid down your life for Materi
And what greater love is there than this.

Your bride is today all grown up
Her children sit in high places business and government
They carry virtue, godliness and hearts of service
They are spirited, free thinkers and inspiring
Many have become leaders and outliers, because they were moulded by Materi in all its uniqueness

Go home free daddy. Your bride will live and love another day
May be she will one day find another suitor
But you will always be her first love.
Go home free daddy, the Father eagerly awaits you
To say well done son. You have been my hands touching the wounded
You have been my feet going places no one was willing to go
You have been my mouth, teaching, discipling
Come home son, for great Is your reward.

Carol Wambui

I had not seen bro shed a tear till the day the alumni came to visit in 2009 and then they sang to him “you raise me up”..

Eunice W

When you chose her,
When you made her your queen..
You did not take her to the city
Right there in the sun scorching land
You built her a paradise….
You gave her your heart
And gave her your life…
You taught her what being loved is
You taught her to be a queen.
You encouraged her to be unique.
To put on her jewellery for example.
She, your wife Materi Girls
Misses you.

Alice K

I remember those moments bro used to give speeches after church service n he would call us MY GIRL FRIENDS. Bro, we will miss u, u r one in a million.

Jane M

RIP brother John. You will be missed by the Materi girls who you loved passionately and did everything to make them who they are today. I promise you that even as you go on with your next life, I will pay it forward by ensuring that at least one girl child goes through high school education. We loved you but God loved you more.

Asunta

I loved closing days coz Bro used to drive us mpaka Nyahururu for only 200 shillings only from school mpaka nyahururu town with his vehicle I can’t recall the number plates whereas guys from Nairobi were taken by the ‘BULL’

Lyniet

Just yesterday I talked to mom and told her that am going to see bro today. And she said that bro loved cards and I should write her name on my card as well. My mom is an alumni and up to his old age, bro always called mom by her name. I was surprised when I went to pick my cert n he was like ”Muthoni’s daughter, give me a hug” that hug n the kiss he planted on me will forever be memorable! oh and when I logged in here, only the R.I.P messages. I called mom and she broke down. Bro was a hero to all of us girls. My heart is pained. But I know that he is together with the saints in a very beautiful place. May your soul rest in peace Brother John

Doreen

It’s still a dark day. Still looks like the sun will never rise again…but the courage U gave us gives us the strength to carry on, accepting things we cannot change. My heart is troubled, but coz U are resting in a peaceful place with our daddy in heaven gives me the reason to celebrate U my hero. RIP bro.John. The entire Materi Community celebrates you

Mukiri

The most caring dad who played mom’s role perfectly.

Junior-Nkubz Alumni

Bro John, what can I say.. the man was God sent and I believe that the world is certainly loosing with the demise of this great man. Obviously those at Materi spent more time with him than the Nkubu High School Old Boys Association (NKOBA) fraternity and we all feel your pain for we too loved him. I have known many of you, the classes of 97- 2002 and I know what great ladies y’all turned out to be and I believe that I am among many when I say he had a great role to play in who we all are today.

It’s a sad day indeed and allow the rest of us to share in your pain. RIP

Lorac

The best memories of bro are
See bro that time you knew ‘kumetumanwa kakitu’
How we would go with my mum to bros him just to ride with him back to school
When he went to US he would come with some sweets for us which were given to every girl
Movies on Friday…
And above all he gave us pen pals and some of us even got sponsors.
RIP dear Bro. we’ll surely miss you

Hilda

Bro John taught me that it is ok to let go and play once in a while…back in high school, we would cap off a week of tireless book crunching by having Friday movies all the way till midnight…and boy we loved it…we looked forward to it. We would save our snacks for Fridays…its the only one day we were allowed to wear home clothes…its the only night where rigid bed time rules weren’t enforced…we would even catch up with our mates over bon fires we light…mark you that wood was sourced from the kitchen pile…its the only time we would gossip about all the teachers and school staff did…all this in high school…he made high school one lovely holiday…I am blessed to have experienced your kindness and immense love in Materi…RIP Brother John Koczka

Kendi

I have seen and experienced Christ in the lives of amazing people like Bro.John Koczka.
I am broken at your departure to be with the Lord and grateful for blessing and touching the lives of so many kenyan girls.
You came to Africa as a teen and in the remotest of Kenya you chose to build an oasis for the girls.
I am not sure that I would have gone through school had it not been for your love. I hated to be thrown out of school for lack of fees. You excempted me(primary) and many other girls. In high school, I dint pay a single coin courtesy of the free scholarship.
This love overwhelmed me and I made a pledge to love as much as I could.
RiP Brother Koczka